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Nov. 15th, 2023 09:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morgue_ni had therapy today. so hey, whats up.
i feel kind of pulled in a bunch of little directions at once. it isn't bad or anything, but i have a lot of little things on my mind, i guess.
first, school.
school's going great. i feel super fulfilled. i'm teaching psychology lately. to be clear, i'm not qualified to teach psychology, but i teach a nonfiction reading and writing course, and i asked my students what fields of nonfiction did they want to research and write about. they pretty unanimously said psychology.
so, students have to choose any character from fiction and then diagnose them using the DSM5, the american psychiatric diagnostic manual or whatever.
so we've been talking about psych stuff in class a lot. the cycle of abuse. kinsey. attachment styles.
standing up and talking about anxious attachment style when you have it is really surreal.
i've been seeing Eve, la manicurista, for about a month now. We now spend most of our free days with each other. I like her a lot. I'm trying to take it slow with her. i mean, she only got divorced in september. i mean, she doesn't speak english. i told her the other day that i feel like i'm in a 3 way relationship with Google Translate.
hablamos en espanol y pantomima y la idioma de tocar.
she has a thing for wine. tinto. her purple hair curls like a corkscrew. she has scream queen eyes. she smells amazing. i love the way she looks at me when she's painting my fingernails black. she teaches me how to salsa and bachata en mi apartamente. i want to learn spanish faster so i can talk to her more.
the other night we were in my apartment. she was playing edith piaf through my bluetooth speaker, and we began acting like we were smoking cigarettes with that existential aloof expression on our faces. caricatures of french self-importance. she inhaled her pretend cigarette and then got some invisible smoke in her eye, tearing up and coughing.
i pantomimed accidentally inhaling my cigarette and started choking. she ran over and pantomimed giving me a tracheotomy, saving my life. i pantomimed pulling the cigarette out of the hole in my neck, and continued smoking my cigarette with the same aloof expression, but this time i was putting the cigarette up to my pretend wound.
I think I'm in love? obviously i wont say anything. she's freshly divorced. i cant possibly know her that well, can i?
but then again, when we pass google translate back and forth in the dark, we're discussing about deeper topics than i have talked about with a woman in years. we're communicating-- her attachment issues, my abandonment. her insecurity. my grief. what i need. what she needs. what she's looking for. what i want. secrets. dreams.
it's wild how effortless this feels, despite the language barrier, despite the big conversations.
i feel kind of pulled in a bunch of little directions at once. it isn't bad or anything, but i have a lot of little things on my mind, i guess.
first, school.
school's going great. i feel super fulfilled. i'm teaching psychology lately. to be clear, i'm not qualified to teach psychology, but i teach a nonfiction reading and writing course, and i asked my students what fields of nonfiction did they want to research and write about. they pretty unanimously said psychology.
so, students have to choose any character from fiction and then diagnose them using the DSM5, the american psychiatric diagnostic manual or whatever.
so we've been talking about psych stuff in class a lot. the cycle of abuse. kinsey. attachment styles.
standing up and talking about anxious attachment style when you have it is really surreal.
i've been seeing Eve, la manicurista, for about a month now. We now spend most of our free days with each other. I like her a lot. I'm trying to take it slow with her. i mean, she only got divorced in september. i mean, she doesn't speak english. i told her the other day that i feel like i'm in a 3 way relationship with Google Translate.
hablamos en espanol y pantomima y la idioma de tocar.
she has a thing for wine. tinto. her purple hair curls like a corkscrew. she has scream queen eyes. she smells amazing. i love the way she looks at me when she's painting my fingernails black. she teaches me how to salsa and bachata en mi apartamente. i want to learn spanish faster so i can talk to her more.
the other night we were in my apartment. she was playing edith piaf through my bluetooth speaker, and we began acting like we were smoking cigarettes with that existential aloof expression on our faces. caricatures of french self-importance. she inhaled her pretend cigarette and then got some invisible smoke in her eye, tearing up and coughing.
i pantomimed accidentally inhaling my cigarette and started choking. she ran over and pantomimed giving me a tracheotomy, saving my life. i pantomimed pulling the cigarette out of the hole in my neck, and continued smoking my cigarette with the same aloof expression, but this time i was putting the cigarette up to my pretend wound.
I think I'm in love? obviously i wont say anything. she's freshly divorced. i cant possibly know her that well, can i?
but then again, when we pass google translate back and forth in the dark, we're discussing about deeper topics than i have talked about with a woman in years. we're communicating-- her attachment issues, my abandonment. her insecurity. my grief. what i need. what she needs. what she's looking for. what i want. secrets. dreams.
it's wild how effortless this feels, despite the language barrier, despite the big conversations.
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no subject
Date: 2023-11-16 11:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-16 05:46 pm (UTC)